Hero

I had a hero growing up. His name is Jim “Catfish” Hunter. He was a pitcher for the Oakland A’s in the late ’60s and early ’70s. There was just something about him that was so cool. He was a great pitcher, but there was something more about him that I just couldn’t explain. The odd thing was, I was a diehard New York Yankees fan and he played in California. Of course, I had his pictures on my wall everywhere, to honor my boyhood idol. I would hear him interviewed on TV after a big game and he seemed like such a simple man really. Not the hero type I guess, but he was mine just the same.

Then in 1975, he joined my beloved Yankees. I could have died then and gone to Heaven, at least I felt like I was halfway there. More pictures went up on my wall. Now in Yankee pinstripes, all was perfect in my baseball world. He lead the American League that year with 23 wins, and he completed 30 games
It’s unheard of today, pitchers are lucky if they throw five innings let alone nine innings in a defeat.
I was a pitcher myself in High School, and I tried to do everything he did. I bought a Wilson A-2000 glove, I wore Puma Baseball spikes and even chewed tobacco wrapped in bubble gum because he did. I would have grown a big bushy mustache just like his if it wasn’t for the peach fuzz I had at the time. My Dad even called me “Sonfish” because I tried to be so much like “Catfish”

One day in 1978, I was reading the local Penny Saver flyer, which listed different bargains and such. As I turned the page my heart stopped beating with an advertisement for a local sports footwear store.
“GRAND OPENING! Saturday, July 15th Help Us Celebrate! Free Autographed Pictures of “Catfish” Will Be Given Away. New York Yankee Pitcher Jim “Catfish” Hunter In Person.” (I still have the Ad) It was three days away, how would I make it that long of a wait to see him? I was so excited, I don’t remember doing anything but waiting to meet “Catfish.” When the day came I got there early. My dad drove me to the Mall, and we were some of the first ones to be online. I was actually going to meet my idol, the biggest, and most important person in my life besides my dad. While I was waiting, I stared straight ahead for the first glimpse of him coming out of the back room. I felt a hand on my shoulder as someone was passing by. Oh My God! It was him, with that big smile, and a kind looks in his eyes. He actually looked like he was happy to be there. At that point I don’t know if I was breathing, he was bigger than life and standing that close to me. He sat down at a table in the store, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

When it was my turn to step up to the table, a thought came to my mind, “what should I call him?” As I stood in front of him he reached out his hand to me and said “Hi, I’m “Catfish” Hunter, what’s your name?” I introduced myself and told him what an honor it was to meet him. He smiled and said it was his pleasure to meet me. Can you imagine that The man that I so put on the highest pedestal ever said it was his pleasure to meet me? I brought a couple of baseballs for him to sign, and he signed a picture for me. As he was signing, I told him that I was a huge fan (a total understatement) and that I was a pitcher in High School, and to pay tribute to him, my Dad called me “Sunfish” He wore #29 on his uniform, and I wore #19 because I was not worthy to wear his # 29. He got the biggest smile on his face and laughed. I could tell he was honored and not laughing at me. He asked if my father was there. I pointed to a dad standing off to the side, allowing me to have my moment. He waved and smiled at dad.

Sometimes we meet celebrities that we look up to or maybe even admire, and are disappointed by the people they really are. I have to say that “Catfish” surpassed what I thought of him before, and I had a deeper admiration for him after I met him. He even took the time to show me how he held his fastball and curve. I was in awe and threw my pitches the same way from that day on.

“Catfish” retired on September 17, 1979, and the Yankees said Thank you and Farewell to him at Yankee Stadium. In 1987, he was inducted into Baseball’s Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY. I wanted to be there that day, but regrettably, I couldn’t go to pay tribute to my hero.
Less than a year later he was diagnosed with ALS, a disease named after a fellow Yankee great Lou Gehrig.
It was so difficult for me to see this man waste away from such a horrible disease. Near the end of his life, he lost all use of his arms. The hands that pitched No-Hitters, World Series games, and even reached out to shake my hand, were now just dangling at his sides, never to sign another autograph or wave to his adoring fans. “Catfish” left this world on September 9, 1999, I cried when I heard of his passing. But as long as I live, I will carry that day I met the great James Augustus “Catfish” Hunter. It is burned into my memory where he is alive, healthy, waving, and smiling that welcoming smile. Thank you, Sir, until we meet again.

Yankee Stadium

When I was a small boy my dad used to take me to Yankee Stadium. I can remember on many occasions, out of the blue he would say “Let’s go down to Yankee Stadium” I would get so excited and run around in circles until it was time to hop in the car and head to the Bronx. I was fortunate to be able to see Mickey Mantle play. Maybe it was towards the end of his career, but it was still MICKEY MANTLE! I remember he would play first base, no longer able to roam center field due to his bad knees. Bad knees or not, he would trot out to first base every half inning to standing ovations. What memories do I have of that old Stadium? Three monuments used to stand out on the playing field in those days. Miller Huggins, Babe Ruth, and Lou Gehrig, I thought were buried out there which made it hallowed ground. They were not buried there, but it turns out so many others thought the same thing. So many great memories in “The House that Ruth Built” was all spent with my dad. He passed along his love of Baseball, and his love of the Yankees that he still has today. I remember the ornate façade that adorned the very top of the stadium and made its way from end to end. The old pictures of Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, and other past greats used to have the façade in the background. I would think when I went to the Stadium myself, Babe Ruth used to look at that same façade. How cool is that!?! In 1976 the newly renovated Yankee Stadium opened on the footprint of the old structure. It was nice, but it was not the place I remembered “The Mick” playing in. And the façade was gone, relegated to an area above the bleacher seats from left field to right field. What a major disappointment. A part of my childhood was gone forever. I guess that’s why I never liked this new stadium the Yankees were calling home. Yes, it was Yankee Stadium, but not my Yankee Stadium. Many great things happened there, I saw Jim “Catfish” Hunter pitch there and all the amazing championships. My dad had not gone to the renovated stadium. I was fortunate to bring him last season to a game before they closed the gates for good. The last time we went to a game I was a kid, and now I am bringing him to a game. It’s amazing how things change with time. More than anything, I enjoyed watching him enjoying himself. We got there early so we could tour Monument Park. Dad was like a kid, smiling from ear to ear as he read the inscriptions and dedications to past players and various dignitaries. During the game, dad clapped to root the Yanks on and yelled CHARGE when the organist and the message board summoned us to. The whole time he was smiling, soaking up every bit of the experience. I’m so thankful to have that memory. It will be even more profound someday when life does what it does and dad is no longer here. Until then, I am grateful to have made that memory now. So now that stadium is closed, and in its shadow, a brand new stadium has been erected. I had the great fortune to tour the New Yankee Stadium on Saturday, March 21, 2009, thanks to a friend of mine Bill. Bill coached a young man named John a few years back. John now works in the Yankees ticket office. He gave us a guided tour of the new facilities. I had heard that the Yankees wanted to make the new place as much like the original stadium as possible. As I walked out to see the field, my eyes caught something beautiful. The façade is back!!! All around the top of the stadium just like I remember as a kid. What a thrill. I couldn’t help but think of Mickey, The Babe, and the Iron Man, Lou Gehrig. I was a kid again. I felt like I was transported back in time, to a very sweet time in my life. I hope I will be able to bring dad there. I need to share it with him to complete the circle. It may be a small thing to some. But the Yankees have given back a piece of my childhood. I guess we shouldn’t live in our memories, but boy it’s sweet to visit from time to time.

Spring

Spring is in the air, a heavenly breath from above and beyond Winter gives way to the flowers and buds that wait to come alive The changing of seasons, like our lives in many ways Beckon us to join the cycle of renewal and rebirth. The long struggle of winter caused us to lull into a darkened slumber Awakened by the first sight of spring birds and blossoms Our spirits soar with the thermometer climb Our lungs fill with the freshness of moist air. Winter leaves us with the swiftness of sunset The sunrise carries a dreamlike melody our soul has longed to sing We shed the comfort of our seasonal cocoon To bask in the warmth of spring’s annual light and beauty. We hearken to the peeper’s song to announce the advent of spring The heart yields itself to the external stimulus The sights and sounds of the new dawn help us believe Spring is here, and our entire being rejoices.

Another Day

Regardless of the weather outside, the brightest and warmest day starts in your heart. Be kind to yourself and others today, smile a lot and enjoy the things you have, strive toward the things you want. Only you can get in your way today. So step aside, allow yourself to be free to love and live. Count every breath as the gift it is, and be thankful for another day.

I Care For You

Wherever you find yourself today On the highest mountain or in the lowest valley In the darkest night or brightest sunlight With a warm smile or welling tears Remember this, my dear friend, I care for you.

Now

Yesterday gave way to today, and today will fade to tomorrow The passage of time moves quickly as we live and breathe at the moment We wait for tomorrow at the expense of today’s issues Yesterday has left us forever, and all we have is now The passage of time is not such a bad thing Even though yesterday had its fill of hardships The passage of time can heal them all Time makes us free to live again in the now Time is a man-made tool that holds us to itself We live according to its dictates We die by its passage All we ever really have is now. Yesterday's lessons have brought today’s wisdom We love with the knowledge gained in the past We participate in life’s dance to our fullest Because all we have when all is said and done is now

Legacy

We never know what we have until it’s gone. We’ve all heard that hundreds of times. It could be our health, a relationship, or anything else in our lives that have meaning. I was recently hit with some sort of flu and boy it threw me for a loop. It’s amazing how much it can incapacitate you, leaving you at its mercy. I kept thinking about how unproductive I was, but there was nothing I could do about it. I learned a good lesson. I take life for granted when everything is fine and going my way. I’ve learned that it can all be gone with one illness. One day all of us will face the end of our lives. Maybe it will come through a long illness, or maybe it will be sudden. I don’t want to just sit around and wait for that day, I want to live life to the fullest. What does that actually mean? We all say it, but how do we do it? For some, it could mean skydiving or some sort of activity. To others, it could mean finding the love of their lives. I just want to leave something behind. I don’t have any children so I don’t have that legacy. So what kind of legacy can I leave the world when it’s my time to go? I hope I have been good to my friends and family. I hope the things I have learned in this life have been used to help others and not just for my own selfishness. I am not trying to be maudlin here, I do think about these things from time to time. I think it is healthy to think about our mark, our legacy. But the danger of thinking about it too much is to obsess about it and not do anything about it. So it all comes down to taking our life lessons and sharing them with those around us. As insignificant as they may seem, somebody may need to hear it. Be the best person you can be. Learn about things you were always interested in, but never took the time to really delve into. Share your experiences, and invest in the lives of your kids, friends, and family members. Extend yourself to the people you see every day. Maybe it’s the people you work with or the counter person at Starbucks. Don’t be afraid to extend yourself. It may seem awkward at first, but it will become routine behavior over time. You will feel better about yourself, and you will bring some sunshine to someone else. It’s a good start to living life to the fullest. Trust me, it won’t stop there.

Sick

I’m feeling sick today I wish I could rise above it running a fever Thank goodness I have ginger ale Everything looks dark when you’re sick The weather is not helping I move from the bedroom to the sofa I am such a lump today I hope there’s something good on TV I need the mindless entertainment I have to feel better tomorrow Or I’ll have to grin and bear it. I’m such a baby when I’m sick So don’t listen to my complaining I have all I need to get me through I’ll be fine, after all, it’s just a cold

Don't Anticipate...Ride!

Just before dawn, I awake to a new day with new possibilities. I wonder what this new day will bring. Did I get enough sleep, and am I rested enough to psychologically meet the challenges of the day? Can you ever get enough sleep for that? Today is Friday, one day to go until the weekend. Actually, isn’t Friday part of the weekend? When did life become so complicated that I need to be looking ahead at the day and wonder if I am ready for it? Gosh, I can remember being a kid and thinking one day ran into the other only to be separated by a few hours of sleep. Is this what happens when we get older? As far as I can tell, days are still 24 hours long. Maybe it’s because I never wore a watch when I was a kid, and today it seems like time is wearing me. There is an expression that says; “Don’t anticipate, participate.” I’m going to work on that one today. I want to find some new ways to participate. Life is too fleeting not to. Don’t you think? What about you, will life be a ride today, or will you allow yourself to be dragged through it? I think I’m going for a ride, check that, I am going for a ride…wanna go?

Ready To Fly

I look into my soul I see darkness and light Sometimes I like who I am inside And sometimes I loathe who lives there. I think I am playing a game sometimes But then again, life can make us doubt I want to play like a child In this world of mature expectations I want my life to be perfect and right But I do nothing to help that along The freedom of my soul stands at the door I hope I have the strength to open it I want to soar as an effortless eagle Something inside has to take wing and fly Am I fooling myself, is it a cruel joke Or is it within my grasp, my destiny The price of the pain has bought fruit Shaping and clarifying the gem within me I would not willingly walk that path again I am wearing the wisdom gathered along the way I am learning to walk again, not paralyzed by fear It feels as if it is my first attempt at living Unhindered by the chains I wore for so long I am finally content with who I have become.

Walls

Many people, including me, have built walls around our hearts. Too many things in my life have caused me to protect myself from unseen enemies, waiting to destroy who I really am on the inside. But, recently, I have been on a quest to tear down those walls and breathe the fresh air on the other side. So much of my energy has been spent building and maintaining that stupid wall. It’s been all I’ve known for the past fifteen-plus years. But as much of a way of life it had become, it was choking the very life, and happiness right out of me. Recently through events in my life, I have had to make some drastic choices to live, breathe, and love again. There have been people that have come into my life, that have caused me to rethink the way I have been living or should I say slowly dying daily. Many people have been sent into my life, and without me knowing, started to chip away at that wall. A significant portion of my wall is gone, chipped away by those around me that have come to me with the hammer of friendship, and the chisel of love. I feel that I should be scared, but I feel somehow anesthetized from the pain, by their acceptance of me. I have come a long way in a short amount of time. I would have never been able to write my thoughts down, and certainly not for others to see. I feel a freedom that I have never felt in my life. I write this today not just for me and my health. But maybe someone out there is struggling with some of the same things. Maybe you have to build a wall around your heart to protect what you think is all you have left after some devastating events in your life. Maybe you were hurt by a failed marriage, the loss of a loved one, or something else just as significant. The wall is killing you, and it is robbing you of the very gift you have to give to others, your life. If you feel that this speaking to you, I hope you will take the first step toward dismantling your wall. First, you must recognize that you have been living this way. Next, you must say to yourself that you refuse to live this way any longer. Seek professional help if you need it. There is no shame in that. Trust your close friends, let them love you, and love them back. But, the most important step is to forgive yourself. Allow the walls to come tumbling down. They will, and you will enjoy the fresh air.

Candles

Friend: (noun) “one attached to another by affection or esteem” A friend is someone you can count on. You know they will always be there for you. By the very definition, someone that is “attached to another by affection or esteem” says to me that a real friend is so much deeper than we think. I have some friends that have been in my life for forty-plus years. I have some from High School that has been there all along, and some that I have recently reconnected with that have augmented my life. I have so many good people that I am fortunate to call a friend. I was encouraged by a friend to start writing. I was never a writer and certainly didn’t pay attention in English class. But my point is that it was the encouragement of a friend that caused me to even entertain the thought of putting pen to paper, or the modern counterpoint, digits to keys. Writing has become extremely therapeutic for me. I guess I never would have found this outlet unless my friend cared enough to encourage me to stretch myself beyond my limited sight line. Many of my friends have caused me to be a better person just by the people they are. I am prone to self-doubt and even depression. What has helped me tremendously is the thought that my life is not just my own, but I also live my life for others around me. I feel that I owe the best of me to friends that have invested in my life. It gives me purpose and meaning to get out of bed every day and take on whatever life brings. I wonder if I have been that type of friend to someone. I wonder if I have been to someone the very thing that I have needed and received from others? I am constantly re-examining myself, maybe too much sometimes. I just want to be someone that I have found in my friends. I guess what I want to be is a true friend. I want to be that person in someone’s life that encourages them to rise above their situations and pain. And, I want to be there to celebrate the triumphs too. I love to rejoice with people that have good news to share, as well as a hug when times get tough. My hope is to be who you need me to be, a true friend. I also hope that you will strive to be that person to someone. I have found that reaching into someone else’s life takes the spotlight off ourselves, and gives us breathing room and perspective, and the clarity to see the things we are wrestling with. We all have struggles, it’s part of life. We owe it to ourselves and others, to be honest, and transparent. There is no reason we can’t bring our dark secrets out, and expose them into the light of friendship. In the battle of dark and light, even a small candle will disperse the darkness. Are we attached enough to light each other’s candle…I hope so.

All We Need

A look can send us running A look will draw us near A look can cause our hearts to soar A look can be all we need A smile can make or break a day A smile is a heart saying hello A smile can make us feel wanted A smile can be all we need A hug can take our pain away A hug will let someone know you care A hug is an expression of love A hug can be all we need A word will set us on the right path A word can bring us to our knees A word can endear us to one another A word can be all we need A touch makes us feel important A touch can lead us on A touch can bring healing A touch can be all we need

Friend

As you wake and meet your day Think of good things along the way If you’re feeling down and blue Know I’m here and care for you When the rains of life must come Call my name I will take some And when your life is feeling bright Call me friend and share the light If you ever need a friend Know I’m one you can depend on When you’re happy and want to share I’ll embrace you, and show I care When your life is full of fear Know I always will be here If you’re lonely and need to cry Call my name I will reply If you feel a bit unsteady Know that I am on the ready When it seems like it’s the end Know I love you, my dear friend

Waiting for Snow

It’s not here yet but I’m waiting for the snow just how much will accumulate I have no way to know. When the snow does come a plow I’m sure to drive but for now, I just keep waiting for that snow storm to arrive. They say it might just drop a ton that’s alright with me as long as we get something I’ll have to wait and see. Some will be happy while others will be sad those of us that drive a plow hope it’s the most we’ve ever had In the morning I’ll be working to remove the very last flake long before the alarm goes off to summon you awake. So I’m still waiting for the coming snow they’re anticipating quite a storm I hope you will be in a place that’s loving, safe, and warm.