Don't Anticipate...Ride!

Just before dawn, I awake to a new day with new possibilities. I wonder what this new day will bring. Did I get enough sleep, and am I rested enough to psychologically meet the challenges of the day? Can you ever get enough sleep for that? Today is Friday, one day to go until the weekend. Actually, isn’t Friday part of the weekend? When did life become so complicated that I need to be looking ahead at the day and wonder if I am ready for it? Gosh, I can remember being a kid and thinking one day ran into the other only to be separated by a few hours of sleep. Is this what happens when we get older? As far as I can tell, days are still 24 hours long. Maybe it’s because I never wore a watch when I was a kid, and today it seems like time is wearing me. There is an expression that says; “Don’t anticipate, participate.” I’m going to work on that one today. I want to find some new ways to participate. Life is too fleeting not to. Don’t you think? What about you, will life be a ride today, or will you allow yourself to be dragged through it? I think I’m going for a ride, check that, I am going for a ride…wanna go?

Ready To Fly

I look into my soul I see darkness and light Sometimes I like who I am inside And sometimes I loathe who lives there. I think I am playing a game sometimes But then again, life can make us doubt I want to play like a child In this world of mature expectations I want my life to be perfect and right But I do nothing to help that along The freedom of my soul stands at the door I hope I have the strength to open it I want to soar as an effortless eagle Something inside has to take wing and fly Am I fooling myself, is it a cruel joke Or is it within my grasp, my destiny The price of the pain has bought fruit Shaping and clarifying the gem within me I would not willingly walk that path again I am wearing the wisdom gathered along the way I am learning to walk again, not paralyzed by fear It feels as if it is my first attempt at living Unhindered by the chains I wore for so long I am finally content with who I have become.

Walls

Many people, including me, have built walls around our hearts. Too many things in my life have caused me to protect myself from unseen enemies, waiting to destroy who I really am on the inside. But, recently, I have been on a quest to tear down those walls and breathe the fresh air on the other side. So much of my energy has been spent building and maintaining that stupid wall. It’s been all I’ve known for the past fifteen-plus years. But as much of a way of life it had become, it was choking the very life, and happiness right out of me. Recently through events in my life, I have had to make some drastic choices to live, breathe, and love again. There have been people that have come into my life, that have caused me to rethink the way I have been living or should I say slowly dying daily. Many people have been sent into my life, and without me knowing, started to chip away at that wall. A significant portion of my wall is gone, chipped away by those around me that have come to me with the hammer of friendship, and the chisel of love. I feel that I should be scared, but I feel somehow anesthetized from the pain, by their acceptance of me. I have come a long way in a short amount of time. I would have never been able to write my thoughts down, and certainly not for others to see. I feel a freedom that I have never felt in my life. I write this today not just for me and my health. But maybe someone out there is struggling with some of the same things. Maybe you have to build a wall around your heart to protect what you think is all you have left after some devastating events in your life. Maybe you were hurt by a failed marriage, the loss of a loved one, or something else just as significant. The wall is killing you, and it is robbing you of the very gift you have to give to others, your life. If you feel that this speaking to you, I hope you will take the first step toward dismantling your wall. First, you must recognize that you have been living this way. Next, you must say to yourself that you refuse to live this way any longer. Seek professional help if you need it. There is no shame in that. Trust your close friends, let them love you, and love them back. But, the most important step is to forgive yourself. Allow the walls to come tumbling down. They will, and you will enjoy the fresh air.

Candles

Friend: (noun) “one attached to another by affection or esteem” A friend is someone you can count on. You know they will always be there for you. By the very definition, someone that is “attached to another by affection or esteem” says to me that a real friend is so much deeper than we think. I have some friends that have been in my life for forty-plus years. I have some from High School that has been there all along, and some that I have recently reconnected with that have augmented my life. I have so many good people that I am fortunate to call a friend. I was encouraged by a friend to start writing. I was never a writer and certainly didn’t pay attention in English class. But my point is that it was the encouragement of a friend that caused me to even entertain the thought of putting pen to paper, or the modern counterpoint, digits to keys. Writing has become extremely therapeutic for me. I guess I never would have found this outlet unless my friend cared enough to encourage me to stretch myself beyond my limited sight line. Many of my friends have caused me to be a better person just by the people they are. I am prone to self-doubt and even depression. What has helped me tremendously is the thought that my life is not just my own, but I also live my life for others around me. I feel that I owe the best of me to friends that have invested in my life. It gives me purpose and meaning to get out of bed every day and take on whatever life brings. I wonder if I have been that type of friend to someone. I wonder if I have been to someone the very thing that I have needed and received from others? I am constantly re-examining myself, maybe too much sometimes. I just want to be someone that I have found in my friends. I guess what I want to be is a true friend. I want to be that person in someone’s life that encourages them to rise above their situations and pain. And, I want to be there to celebrate the triumphs too. I love to rejoice with people that have good news to share, as well as a hug when times get tough. My hope is to be who you need me to be, a true friend. I also hope that you will strive to be that person to someone. I have found that reaching into someone else’s life takes the spotlight off ourselves, and gives us breathing room and perspective, and the clarity to see the things we are wrestling with. We all have struggles, it’s part of life. We owe it to ourselves and others, to be honest, and transparent. There is no reason we can’t bring our dark secrets out, and expose them into the light of friendship. In the battle of dark and light, even a small candle will disperse the darkness. Are we attached enough to light each other’s candle…I hope so.

All We Need

A look can send us running A look will draw us near A look can cause our hearts to soar A look can be all we need A smile can make or break a day A smile is a heart saying hello A smile can make us feel wanted A smile can be all we need A hug can take our pain away A hug will let someone know you care A hug is an expression of love A hug can be all we need A word will set us on the right path A word can bring us to our knees A word can endear us to one another A word can be all we need A touch makes us feel important A touch can lead us on A touch can bring healing A touch can be all we need

Friend

As you wake and meet your day Think of good things along the way If you’re feeling down and blue Know I’m here and care for you When the rains of life must come Call my name I will take some And when your life is feeling bright Call me friend and share the light If you ever need a friend Know I’m one you can depend on When you’re happy and want to share I’ll embrace you, and show I care When your life is full of fear Know I always will be here If you’re lonely and need to cry Call my name I will reply If you feel a bit unsteady Know that I am on the ready When it seems like it’s the end Know I love you, my dear friend

Waiting for Snow

It’s not here yet but I’m waiting for the snow just how much will accumulate I have no way to know. When the snow does come a plow I’m sure to drive but for now, I just keep waiting for that snow storm to arrive. They say it might just drop a ton that’s alright with me as long as we get something I’ll have to wait and see. Some will be happy while others will be sad those of us that drive a plow hope it’s the most we’ve ever had In the morning I’ll be working to remove the very last flake long before the alarm goes off to summon you awake. So I’m still waiting for the coming snow they’re anticipating quite a storm I hope you will be in a place that’s loving, safe, and warm.