Hurt And Anger...You Can't Have One Without The Other

Anger, it can motivate you, it can trip you up, or even kill you. Sometimes it is justified, but we are never justified to harbor it in our hearts. Anger comes from deep-seated hurt stuffed into the recesses of our soul, a soul that is meant to be free, free to express and shine forth the person we truly are from the inside out. I see hurt as that dirty closet somewhere in the deep, dark recesses of the house where we hoard all the negative and unkind words and deeds said and done over the years. They rapidly change appearance with every hurtful addition heaped onto the pile. The original article no longer has its own identity, merely an amalgamation of hideous words and deeds, fermented and putrefied over the ticking of time. The poisons of hurt and anger are subtle, taking their time over time to infiltrate and corrupt everything good and worth having in our lives. Life is seen through the poisonous cloud of our anger, causing our wounds to fester and callus. Every new event tears and reopens the old issue to make it today’s problem all over again. The vicious cycle continues until the door of the closet is about to come unhinged. I am on a journey of sorts to clean my closets. It is said that you don’t truly realize how much stuff you have until you go to move. So it is with the soul of man. Attempt to make an internal move forward, and see just how much junk falls on you when you open that cluttered old closet. The good thing about having the contents hit you right between the eyes is that you are forced to deal with them head-on. Plus once exposed to the light, they are no longer as dark and fearful. We all have issues that we harbor within, be honest as you muster up the courage to look. Forgive the person that hurt you long ago or just yesterday. Refuse to allow that junk to clutter your closet one day more. You will find in time, that the once dark spaces will be bathed in the light of peace. Make no mistake, the process is difficult and quite painful at times. It’s not easy to find that balance of forgiving and forgetting. Clara Barton, Founder of the Red Cross was once approached by a friend that reminded her of a cruel incident that had happened years before. “Don’t you remember the wrong that was done?” said the friend. “No,” Clara said matter of factly, “I distinctly remember forgetting about that.” Barton was able to accomplish great things in her life because she refused to carry the exhausting burden of hurt, anger, and resentment around like a knapsack full of bricks. That is the lesson for you and me, let it go, forgive yourself and others, and live in peace with others whenever possible. At the end of the day, true freedom (like a dream) starts from within. We’ll all be better at it!

Contemplate

Recently I heard an interview with Roger Daltrey, lead singer of the British Rock Band The Who. He talked about technology as it pertains to sports, pointing out the horrible referee calls in the 2010 World Cup. His thought was that technology is needed to correct the blatant errors the referees inflicted that possibly cost vital games, and possibly even the cup for the American soccer team. On the other hand, he warned of the effects technology is having on our society at large. We may not truly see the effects for twenty or thirty years, but the effects will be felt. Roger opines that in these days of megabytes, gigabytes, and nanoseconds, people have forgotten how to contemplate. Everything in today’s life is so fast that we basically make quick assessments of information or events, and make nanosecond decisions. Contemplation is a good way to get our heads around an issue and truly understand it. Without contemplation, the information literally goes in one ear and out the other. Life is too short as it is to not fully understand and enjoy what’s around us. Take the test. When you click on a website and it takes more than three seconds, do you start to tap your foot and check your watch? Three seconds and we feel the whole world is passing us by. I can remember as a kid waiting for the picture tube on our television to seemingly take forever to warm up, but we were excited to see what picture would pop up. And then when we got a color TV in the late 60s, talk about anticipation…WOW! Heaven forbid if we ever have to wait at that endless red light, or in a long line at the grocery store, or stare at the bumper of a slow car ahead of us when we’re in a big hurry. We just don’t have the patience to wait for anything anymore. We used to fill our time with thoughts of the future, or what we were going to do with our friends next weekend. Families spent more time together before iPods, iPads, and endless channels of High Definition Television at our fingertips. Cashiers don’t even have to know how to make change anymore. How many times have you noticed the person at the register waiting for the change back to be displayed before delving into the tray to “count-up” your change? I guess it goes to show that the more we try to make our lives easier, the more complicated they become. Technology is an incredible thing for sure. My wife and I just purchased iPhones with a million Apps that do a million things. We never have to worry about locking the keys in the car, yep there is an App that will summon a satellite to pop the doors open. Never again will I have to wait in line to buy movie tickets, not with my trusty iPhone! Heck, I can even deposit a check without leaving the comforts of my home. With all this time I’m saving, why do I feel just as busy and tired as always? I don’t really have the answers, maybe I should take some time to contemplate for a while, and then I’ll get back to you…

50

Turning fifty has a very peculiar feel to it. Well past middle age unless you are blessed to stick around to hit the century mark, yet young enough to remember the previous years leading up to this half-century milestone. In my case anyway, synchronicity seems to be a casualty in the battle of time passage, the mind refuses to age at the same pace as the rest of the structural framework. So many times I have unwisely thought to make a time-saving jump down off an elevated surface only to have my brain remind my good-intentioned inner-child that I would most likely land on my iPhone, break my hip or something, and not be able to call for an ambulance. I think of that lady’s refrain from the commercials, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” Seriously, it’s pretty funny how the mind works. It’s strange to be at an age that you can remember your parents being, and you thought they were getting pretty old. Aging is uncharted territory for us even though others have gone before. Everyone’s journey is a solo flight that we hope is filled with excitement and grace. Like anything unknown, the future has its share of anxiety and stress. But if we dwell too much on what could happen in the future, we will surely miss all that is potentially good surrounding us at the moment before us. So for my next 50 years, I want to make it a point to anticipate less and participate more in what life has to offer. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not jumping out of any perfectly good airplanes anytime soon, but within reason, I want to take some risks. I want to feel less encumbered by my fears, and perceptions, and stop listening to the unkind voices from the past that occasionally echo from a deep and dimly lit recess within my mind. I want to smile more than I do every day, and I want to recognize and seek out the people and things that make me smile. I want to love more things about my life, my country, and my world. And even though life is a continuous process of learning and growing, I want to be able to allow myself from time to time to say “You’ve made it to this point kid, use what you’ve learned so far…and go for it!” I want to play more and not worry about the consequences my muscles may pay the next day. I want to be more thankful for what I have had the privilege to experience in this life so far. I am thankful for the eyes that I have been given for which to see the world around me, whether they are through mine, or clarity revealed through the eyes of a loved one. So today I will lace up my hockey skates, or slide down an icy hill with my wife gripping our brand new super-duper sled. Tonight we go to my favorite BBQ Restaurant (which is a risk in itself for me, but worth taking) I just hope I will be fully functional and upright tomorrow…but hey, I’ll concern myself with that tomorrow!