50

Turning fifty has a very peculiar feel to it. Well past middle age unless you are blessed to stick around to hit the century mark, yet young enough to remember the previous years leading up to this half-century milestone. In my case anyway, synchronicity seems to be a casualty in the battle of time passage, the mind refuses to age at the same pace as the rest of the structural framework. So many times I have unwisely thought to make a time-saving jump down off an elevated surface only to have my brain remind my good-intentioned inner-child that I would most likely land on my iPhone, break my hip or something, and not be able to call for an ambulance. I think of that lady’s refrain from the commercials, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” Seriously, it’s pretty funny how the mind works. It’s strange to be at an age that you can remember your parents being, and you thought they were getting pretty old. Aging is uncharted territory for us even though others have gone before. Everyone’s journey is a solo flight that we hope is filled with excitement and grace. Like anything unknown, the future has its share of anxiety and stress. But if we dwell too much on what could happen in the future, we will surely miss all that is potentially good surrounding us at the moment before us. So for my next 50 years, I want to make it a point to anticipate less and participate more in what life has to offer. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not jumping out of any perfectly good airplanes anytime soon, but within reason, I want to take some risks. I want to feel less encumbered by my fears, and perceptions, and stop listening to the unkind voices from the past that occasionally echo from a deep and dimly lit recess within my mind. I want to smile more than I do every day, and I want to recognize and seek out the people and things that make me smile. I want to love more things about my life, my country, and my world. And even though life is a continuous process of learning and growing, I want to be able to allow myself from time to time to say “You’ve made it to this point kid, use what you’ve learned so far…and go for it!” I want to play more and not worry about the consequences my muscles may pay the next day. I want to be more thankful for what I have had the privilege to experience in this life so far. I am thankful for the eyes that I have been given for which to see the world around me, whether they are through mine, or clarity revealed through the eyes of a loved one. So today I will lace up my hockey skates, or slide down an icy hill with my wife gripping our brand new super-duper sled. Tonight we go to my favorite BBQ Restaurant (which is a risk in itself for me, but worth taking) I just hope I will be fully functional and upright tomorrow…but hey, I’ll concern myself with that tomorrow!