A Year Down The Road

A year down the road of life together you and me.
So many things to experience and left for us to see
I can’t believe how quickly the time has really passed
Or how happy and blessed I am at last.

I am grateful for the laughter and even the tears
It means we are together and will be for years
I feel I have known you much longer than it seems
For you truly have been the girl of all my dreams

So today I say with conviction and feeling
You have brought joy, and love that sets my heart reeling
And now is a milestone in our incredible life
You are my lover, my best friend, my beautiful wife

URGE

I can feel the torment from within as I fight the urge that tries to justify the lighting of a cigarette. For far too long nicotine has had free reign to travel my veins and arteries unfettered. Well from now on the journey is over, No more will I be a slave to the poison that robs my health and takes my years or the precious moments off the tail end of my life. I am no longer willing to forfeit one second to a killer. Too much may be just around the corner to allow a cigarette to hinder. I have so much to live for, and every precious second I have is a gift to be enjoyed and breathed in at full lung capacity. I have to make a confession. I have replaced one addiction with another. Like so many people that struggle with addictions, I have willingly put aside nicotine for the euphoric endorphins that course through my body after a good sweaty workout at the Gym. I guess it could be worst, I could fill the void of smoking with chocolate or some other fat-promoting agent. I guess if I had to quit the Gym “Cold Turkey” it wouldn’t be so difficult? A couple of months behind the habit now and I am feeling great. I still have the urge sometimes, but thankfully the will to be healthy for the rest of my life strongly outweighs any lie that I need the nicotine. I’m not really sure of the date I quit, I refuse to give the habit the dignity of being remembered with milestones before or after. It became the enemy within, working to destroy the gift of life I was given. The sad thing is I invited it in. So now the invitation has been revoked…and it’s off to the Gym I go!

Masterpiece

Life is a vast array of colors, some dark and seemingly lifeless, while others are too beautiful to adequately describe. The light must have the dark to bring forth its illuminating brilliance. All colors have their place of importance, in the ongoing masterpiece of who we are, and who we will become. The contrast’s set the tone of our personality and character. We must not be afraid to let dark colors permeate our canvas. Opportunity will always lend itself to highlight it and make it work for us. At times, we may only see the darkness, and our canvas looks bleak. Train yourself to accept the darkness, see what it has to offer, and where it will take you on your journey of discovery and growth. Then, fill your pallet with bright rich colors and enjoy the brush strokes of freedom you will experience. Your heart and soul are the receiving canvas, clean, white, and stretched to fit only you. The stretching may hurt at first, but keep pressing forward. You will in time grow into the new skin and find it comforting. Remember, at the beginning of any masterpiece, you may look at all the colors that are being blocked in, and say what a mess, this could never become anything beautiful. In the time it will all come together, it will be revealed and make sense. We will come to realize that is the process of life that is the masterpiece, full of color, experience, and love. The finished product is our completed canvas, passed along to those around us hopefully becoming blocking colors in their masterpiece.

Night Stroll

Night strolling as the snow dances all around us in the muted light of the street lamps. The trees that line the street bow to meet us from the weight of the heavy snowfall. Tonight is a night to enjoy the snow in all its brilliant beauty. Tomorrow it will become work, plowing and packing it aside to make room for another round, another storm. There is such a calm, a quiet solitude that fills the air and my mind. Tonight is a night to live in the now and to just enjoy the beauty of the moment. The Earth seems new and refreshed with a fluffy white blanket covering her flaws. Somehow I feel it too, rejuvenated and cleansed with every breath of cold, crisp air. I needed this night, to walk, and to think of nothing but the snow and my wife’s hand in mine. My mind remembers all the snowballs I’ve made throughout the years as I grab a new handful to load up and fire at an unsuspecting road sign. What is it about snow that can make you feel like a kid again, and yet when you shovel it, you are reminded of just how long ago your childhood was. Well for tonight anyway, I am enjoying the snow and every memory that floats gently and silently with every flake.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Mention the name Martin Luther King Jr. and you evoke different emotions in the hearts of those that lived through his times, and remember what he lived and died for. For me, he was a hero, and like many of our heroes, he was not a perfect man. He did however possess courage, the courage to stand before the world and peacefully proclaim equality for all people. He was a civil rights leader, but unlike many of today’s so-called “leaders”, he stood for everyone who was downtrodden regardless of race. The world is a better place because Dr. King lived and lent his voice to the voiceless, and provided us a living example, of peacefully righting the wrongs of racial injustice. I remember being a small boy and hearing the words of his “I have a dream” speech. What stood out for me was his challenge to us all to judge each other by the content of our character, and not our skin's melanin content that ironically covers identical bones and organs. As believers in anything, we fail and fall along the way. But if we truly believe in our cause, we get up, dust ourselves off, and continue on our course. Dr. King believed with his life, that he is our shining example to pursue and follow our big dreams. I hope his words and what he stood for the ring in our ears every day, and not just because we have his birthday off as a Holiday. He spoke to all of us, do we have the heart to keep his dream alive, and truly be free within ourselves to dream with our eyes wide open.

First Snow

The first snow to actually take temporary residence on the ground. It sure makes for a beautiful morning. Snow-covered branches wind-dancing with a backdrop of a cloudless azure blue sky. As I deeply draw in the cool, fresh air, I feel my lungs expanding to capacity, and satisfying the oxygen levels in my bloodstream. The brilliant sunlight begins to melt the snow off the branches of the bare and glistening trees. It sounds like rain hitting the ground in a steady rhythm of mini percussive explosions. What a wonderful way to start the day, senses alive and feeling the urge to run full throttle into the day. There is so much beauty to gaze, at as the Earth begins its winter hibernation. Have I ever really noticed it before, or am I seeing it all with new eyes? Is it just something that comes with the journey towards 50, or perhaps it was always there within me, and I just needed to tap into it? Whatever the case, I am enjoying my surroundings speaking to me in such profound ways, and with such clarity. Never have I felt so alive before, so keenly aware of life’s lessons. They are there for us to absorb if we will only take the time to truly see with eyes wide and open. Enjoy the chill, the snow-covered hills, they are there for us…to recharge and renew our very souls.

You Might Recall

“My hopes were as the leaves upon the water, just sunk in the night.” ‡ Can you picture beautiful fall leaves gently floating atop a crystal clear lake? Ironically, the very element keeping them afloat will eventually hasten their journey below the surface. That picture reminds me of the times in my life when I thought I was standing solidly on a firm foundation. Only now in retrospect, do the realize that the ground I was traveling was the proverbial sinking sand. Many relationships come to mind, especially my first marriage. The very thing that seemed good and right in my life, was sucking the very life force out of me. I knew very early on that it was a caustic relationship but in the name of marriage, I kept trying to add bags of sand so it wouldn’t sink. This only added to the ever-present quicksand that lies beneath, just below the surface. Bags and bags of sand were added to shore up and extend the life of a relationship that was sadly on life-support. I was told a long time ago by a baseball coach that you should always do everything you can and beyond, in a situation to stave off the guilt and regrets that will inevitably come down the road. I didn’t want to be sitting on a barstool one day, wondering if I had done everything humanly possible to save my marriage. Humanly is the operative word here. I did everything I could humanly do at the time, and over time, I came to terms with the divorce. None of us like to fail, and divorce is just that, a miserable failure. We pledge our devotion and make our vows before God and man, and with everything, within us, we intend to keep our commitment. When it all crumbles to the ground, we feel we lied and are not capable of keeping a promise, even to ourselves. Well three years later, and enjoying the bonding of two hearts once again. I feel as though the tables have turned. I feel like a leaf that is still firmly attached to the tree. It is free to catch water on its surface and use it to nourish itself and the tree. No longer is there the loneliness of riding the waves of uncertainty, but the rain is now harnessed to cleanse and bring life to the leaf. Now, when the rains come, they cause the roots to dig deeper into the soil. The tree is steady, planted firmly where none of life’s harsh elements can bring it to ruin. There is a peace that comes with a firm foundation, and a hope that grows deep within my tree of life. ‡ You Might Recall Ó 1982 Gelring Ltd.