Alvee

I had a little friend for the last month or so that I named Aleve. Alves was a chipmunk that would run atop our old stone wall to eat peanuts out of my hand. For the last week or so I haven’t seen any sign of him. I fear he may have fallen victim to one of the stray cats that roam the neighborhood. I can’t help but feel somewhat responsible if he is gone. Maybe I caused him to let his guard down a little too much when I gained his trust. I really miss that little guy. The past few days have caused me to think even beyond my little friend, to step back and reflect on life in general. I would watch him take the peanuts I gave him, stuffing them into his cheeks, and run like lightning back to his underground storehouse. It was so funny to watch him squeeze into his ground hole with his cheeks puffed out beyond his body. Sometimes he would have his butt up in the air as he struggled to stuff himself down the hole. I must have given that little rascal at least four pounds of peanuts to store for the winter. Who knows what other kinds of nuts and things he found while foraging around the property. Every day he would tirelessly gather those nuts to save for another day. I fear that day will never come for him. I guess we are a lot like my friend the chipmunk, gathering and running every day of our lives to save a little time down the road. Maybe it will come to pass for us…and maybe it won’t. It’s not maudlin or macabre, it’s just life. We don’t know when the time will stop for us, or when the winter winds will blow. So while we’re out there gathering and saving, let’s have some fun and enjoy what we have in the here and now.

Storms

Last night the lightning flashed and the thunder shook the house to its very foundation. The lights flickered at one point, I noticed the alarm clock flashing when I went to bed at ten. A summer thunderstorm like the ones when I was a kid. At least now I don’t hide under the covers, I welcome the energy and the excitement. It amazes me how as a child I felt so helpless and so out of control during a storm. Perhaps it was because I had not experienced enough of life’s storms to that point, and was unaware if I would come through the other side unscathed or not. Now all these years later, the fear is gone. Is it because so times in my life since then I have walked through the fire without even the hint of smoke on my clothing? Or is it just the realization that some things are totally out of my control. Amid all the darkness I have learned that there is always light up ahead, far away as it may seem sometimes, it lights my way, brings me needed comfort, and the strength to continue on the journey. Sometimes we need the storms to show us just what we are made of, or to see how far we’ve come. I call them “mile markers.” We all need them to give us a sense of just where we are on the road of life. When I was younger, I was famous for not using a roadmap, always getting lost, and hating to stop to get directions. Now, I print out Mapquest and have been known to borrow a friend's GPS to get me where I’m going. Is it maturity, or just the fact that I got tired of getting lost? I’ve also had the opportunity to swallow my pride while pulling into a service station for a little navigational assistance. It’s not fun to get lost or even while you're cruising down the right road, not knowing how far you may be from your destination. Read the signs, look for that light on that dark highway…it’s just ahead, you’ll see! The storms only last for a little while, learn from them, and enjoy them. The lessons learned will be mightier than any lightning bolt, and they will resound in your soul louder than any thunderclap. And who knows, you may even find once you’ve reached the end of the journey, you actually enjoyed the ride.

Put Down The Potatoes

The morning is quiet with only the sound of the air conditioner humming away. I am sitting here anticipating the day ahead. Wondering where the day will take me, both emotionally and physically. There is a saying; “Don’t anticipate…participate.” Do I follow that today, or do I try to figure out every last detail to somehow prepare myself for what’s ahead? Obviously, life does what it does and we can never really be prepared for what lies in store for us at any given moment let alone hours, days, or weeks. Plus, it’s way too exhausting to plan for everything…don’t you think? Maybe just for today, I will roll with whatever comes my way. Just take life as it comes, both at work and in real life. But how do I do that, how do I shut down the mechanism inside of me that wants to be in control? Why is the concept of letting go so intimidating to so many of us? I guess it all boils down to faith. Faith in those around us, God, and maybe the hardest of them all, ourselves. Maybe it’s just a trust issue? They say: “Those that don’t trust can’t be trusted” It’s an interesting phrase but I’m not sure I believe it wholeheartedly. Hopefully, we base our core beliefs on our experiences, and truth, and not just on the roller coaster of emotion we can experience in this life. Unfortunately, people can give us good reason not to have faith in them because of their moral behavior, or lack of moral principles. I have found that we as humans have all failed, we are all flawed. It is our curse in the sense that we are human, but it is not a license for bad and destructive behavior. We can all improve ourselves, regardless of age, it’s never too late. So right now for me on the journey of life, I am struggling to let go. It sounds so simple, just open your hand and let go of the things you are holding onto so tightly. If it falls and breaks…get a new one. If it falls and lands at your feet, it was meant to be there all along, without your fingerprints all over it. I think of the man that was carrying a 50-pound sack of potatoes into town to sell at the market. The town was five miles away but he was determined to sell those potatoes to provide for his family. About a mile into his journey, a man with a pickup truck stopped and offered him a ride. He gladly accepted and jumped on the back of the truck shouldering his sack of potatoes. For the rest of the ride into town, he had that 50-pound sack over his shoulder. Because the potatoes were so important he just couldn’t let go. Even for the rest of the four miles, he wouldn’t allow himself to let go of his potatoes and rest. So let’s put down the potatoes every now and then. And maybe, just maybe, we can eat some fries along the way.