You Might Recall

“My hopes were as the leaves upon the water, just sunk in the night.” ‡ Can you picture beautiful fall leaves gently floating atop a crystal clear lake? Ironically, the very element keeping them afloat will eventually hasten their journey below the surface. That picture reminds me of the times in my life when I thought I was standing solidly on a firm foundation. Only now in retrospect, do the realize that the ground I was traveling was the proverbial sinking sand. Many relationships come to mind, especially my first marriage. The very thing that seemed good and right in my life, was sucking the very life force out of me. I knew very early on that it was a caustic relationship but in the name of marriage, I kept trying to add bags of sand so it wouldn’t sink. This only added to the ever-present quicksand that lies beneath, just below the surface. Bags and bags of sand were added to shore up and extend the life of a relationship that was sadly on life-support. I was told a long time ago by a baseball coach that you should always do everything you can and beyond, in a situation to stave off the guilt and regrets that will inevitably come down the road. I didn’t want to be sitting on a barstool one day, wondering if I had done everything humanly possible to save my marriage. Humanly is the operative word here. I did everything I could humanly do at the time, and over time, I came to terms with the divorce. None of us like to fail, and divorce is just that, a miserable failure. We pledge our devotion and make our vows before God and man, and with everything, within us, we intend to keep our commitment. When it all crumbles to the ground, we feel we lied and are not capable of keeping a promise, even to ourselves. Well three years later, and enjoying the bonding of two hearts once again. I feel as though the tables have turned. I feel like a leaf that is still firmly attached to the tree. It is free to catch water on its surface and use it to nourish itself and the tree. No longer is there the loneliness of riding the waves of uncertainty, but the rain is now harnessed to cleanse and bring life to the leaf. Now, when the rains come, they cause the roots to dig deeper into the soil. The tree is steady, planted firmly where none of life’s harsh elements can bring it to ruin. There is a peace that comes with a firm foundation, and a hope that grows deep within my tree of life. ‡ You Might Recall Ó 1982 Gelring Ltd.