Walls

Many people, including me, have built walls around our hearts. Too many things in my life have caused me to protect myself from unseen enemies, waiting to destroy who I really am on the inside. But, recently, I have been on a quest to tear down those walls and breathe the fresh air on the other side. So much of my energy has been spent building and maintaining that stupid wall. It’s been all I’ve known for the past fifteen-plus years. But as much of a way of life it had become, it was choking the very life, and happiness right out of me. Recently through events in my life, I have had to make some drastic choices to live, breathe, and love again. There have been people that have come into my life, that have caused me to rethink the way I have been living or should I say slowly dying daily. Many people have been sent into my life, and without me knowing, started to chip away at that wall. A significant portion of my wall is gone, chipped away by those around me that have come to me with the hammer of friendship, and the chisel of love. I feel that I should be scared, but I feel somehow anesthetized from the pain, by their acceptance of me. I have come a long way in a short amount of time. I would have never been able to write my thoughts down, and certainly not for others to see. I feel a freedom that I have never felt in my life. I write this today not just for me and my health. But maybe someone out there is struggling with some of the same things. Maybe you have to build a wall around your heart to protect what you think is all you have left after some devastating events in your life. Maybe you were hurt by a failed marriage, the loss of a loved one, or something else just as significant. The wall is killing you, and it is robbing you of the very gift you have to give to others, your life. If you feel that this speaking to you, I hope you will take the first step toward dismantling your wall. First, you must recognize that you have been living this way. Next, you must say to yourself that you refuse to live this way any longer. Seek professional help if you need it. There is no shame in that. Trust your close friends, let them love you, and love them back. But, the most important step is to forgive yourself. Allow the walls to come tumbling down. They will, and you will enjoy the fresh air.