Compassion

I learned a good lesson in compassion today. I’ve always thought of myself as a compassionate person, but I guess I was never really tested. I have a very good friend that was passed up for a promotion because of a silly oversight on his part while filling out paperwork. Having been his boss before we became friends, I’ve always encouraged him to learn the business, and I did my best to show him the way. My philosophy as a supervisor has been to look for the people that stand out, get behind them and train them so well that they can take your job someday. I believe you get better employees that way. I guess in this case it’s true at least, for now, I have a good friend. I found out this morning, before he did, that he was not getting the job. To say that I felt awful is a huge understatement. I knew he didn’t know yet, and I felt sick. He is such a good man that deserves only good things. I sat in my office trying to figure out why I felt so bad about his misfortune. I know I never felt that way about someone that worked for me before. But then I thought he is more than that, he is my friend. I actually started to feel his disappointment before he had the chance to. Why? I was struggling with it all day. Why did I feel compassion for this friend? I didn’t like it…it hurt! This was quite the dilemma for me. Surely I had hurt for others before, but this was deeper. Then like a light switch being turned on it became clear. We don’t always possess the things we believe we have. Our growth comes when we exercise those areas of our lives that we want to improve. It was one thing to say I was a compassionate person. But quite another to actually be one. I am always soul searching and trying to be a better person. So why was it such a surprise to me when the opportunity fell into my lap? I felt a bit guilty about gaining something while my friend had to lose what he wanted. I bet there are lessons for him to learn as well. I did talk to him later in the day and was able to console him a bit. I know there will be other opportunities for him, as there will be for me to test what I am really made of. I hope I will find many more nuggets like this, golden nuggets in this wonderful cluster we call life.